June break - S01 E12

1 week ago

June break - S01 E12

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 12

This is another day to be happy and pretend nothing ever happened.

It will soon be my break time which is only thirty minutes.

I’m very hungry today and have been watching the clock tick slowly. It was crawling very slow and I kept wondering why it choose to be so today that hunger was dealing with me.

I just finished a full chocolate bar, two creamy biscuits and yogurt. It felt like nothing. Is as if I haven’t eaten for a very long time.

I need real food and I will make good use of my thirty minutes break to fill my tummy to the brim.

“God, I’m so hungry. I can even finish a full cow…” I exclaimed loudly.

Ella my colleague who was on the same shift with me looked up at me strangely

“April, are you sure you’re alright? The way you have been eating this days is getting worrisome. I’m happy for you and worried at the same time. Hope you didn’t take any kind of worm medicine that is consuming every food you eat..or are you a prégnant woman..?

The last question startled me but i quickly said. ” Hey! God forbids it”

She smiled and said “relax girl, I was only kidding. You told me that you and Louise are not intimately involved so there is no way you will possibly get prégnant…”

“Yes, that can’t be possible Ella. This whole prégnåncy talk is making me nauseating. I feel like throwing up already. Please talk about something else…”..

I looked up at the time and clapped my hands excitedly.

“…”finally is time, I’m going for my break before I faint here because of hunger…”

Ella was laughing as I rushed out.

While at lunch I began to think over what Ella said.

I was afraid at the thought of it and kept saying “God forbid” each time my mind travels towards that.

God won’t let such happen to me. It will be double burn.

The whole hunger disappeared after few bites. I lost appetite all of a sudden.

I couldn’t wait for the work day to be over so that I can go home.

Is been two weeks already and my monthly cycle is meant to show up by now. It was supposed to start three days ago but nothing yet.

I did not want to worry about it but Ella’s word was making me so worried.

After the close of work I sluggishly get a bus and went home.

When Louise returned that night from work he asked me if I was alright.

I don’t think I can ever be alright, ever since that horrible night is been nightmare upon nightmare.

Louise said I’m thinking too much and I need to clear my mind. He said the reason for the nightmares was because I’m still nursing fear and hate in my heart and if I want the nightmare to stop then I have to let it all go.

I have tried and still trying to do that although it does not come often again but whenever it does it feel so horrifying.

“I don’t feel too good? I’m afraid Louise…?

“Afraid of what? He asked while taking a seat beside me

“What if I’m prégnant?

Louise looked at me shocked and didn’t reply

“…I know you went to the pharmacy and bought some drugs the following morning after the incident, I asked you what is it for and you said is to prevent any sign of prégnåncy. But, what if the drugs didn’t work on my body… what if I’m pregnant Louise…?

“You can’t be prégnant April relax. The drugs I gave you took care of everything..,”

He stood, walked to the fridge, picked up a drink but I was not still comfortable because despite how he try to convince me, I can sense uncertainty in his voice.

Louise wasn’t sure of what he was saying. He was trying to hide his worries which I have dictated from his voice.

“, Is my life we are talking about here. I have big plans and future for myself. I’m asking you again Louise, What if the drugs didn’t work? I’m already feeling awkward and when I checked pregnancy symptoms on Google, it was all included there. What will happen if…”

“, Then you will go and remove it for good…” He said interrupting me.

I chuckled, annoyed.”, you mean abørtion? God forbids you Louise. You råpëd me and now you want me to commit aborti…”

He interrupted again and said with a husky hard voice “,I did not råpé you April, if you keep seeing it that way you will continue húrting and for how long will you keep up with such pitiful, pathetic tale. We had intimacy…as boyfriend and girlfriend, is a normal thing. We live together, acting like couples… I’m not made of wood, I’m a man. No matter how I try to pretend and act along, a day will come that I can no longer do that. start seeing it differently and in that way you will be alright…”

He pause, sighed heavily and came to sat beside me.

“… you’re 18 years…not 20. April you said it yourself that you have plans for your life and a big future. You won’t allow prégnåncy to ruin it all. So you will do whatever it takes to get ride of it. Becoming a mother at 18…is that what you want for yourself? You have to get rid of any sign of prégnåncy by all means. I’m not ready to father any child neither are you. Make up your mind because delay can be dangerous…”

He stood up and started walking out.

As he was going, I shouted angrily at him

“you want to ruin my life Louise. Why? You convinced me and make me trust you enough to leave my people. Running away from my family was troubling enough, I thought is all over and now I’m begining to regret my actions because of you…”

He returned back to where I was and said “I’m sorry if you’re feeling that way but you will be the one ruining your own life if you refuse my advice. I also wanted to ask why your salary isn’t paid yet. Is passed the paying time and I’m yet to get alert…”

I was surprised when he changed the sensitive topic so easily.

How can he be more concerned about my salary than my health.

I shakes my head sadly and told him that my salary have been paid since last week. My colleagues have all gotten theirs.

He picked up his phone and probably checked my account balance. I watch him heaped a sigh of relief before turning to me.

“Is paid, I wonder why I didn’t get an sms alert. Alright April….I understand you are very stubborn but while at it hurry up with your decision. There’s no time to cry over a spilled milk. I have pleaded all I can… gave you a good suggestion which will be of your own good. I really don’t know what you want me to do again…”

“My salary is big enough now, I have been working for many months and even my bonuses is paid into the account. I will like to have my money. I want to plan for my life and maybe school too..”

“Your salary isn’t big enough April. It can’t do much for you. When the time is right, you will have your money but for now worry about making sure you’re not prégnant..”
He walked out.

I sat there thinking over my life.
I wasn’t sure if I’m prégnant or not, before anything I will have to run a prégnåncy test to be certain.

Even though deep within I’m afraid it might be positive but I still have to be sure first.

I can only pray that God help me out at this junction.

I don’t want to commit abørtion, neither do I want to be a baby mama to an unserious human like Louise at this young age.

I used the fifth stick and it was the same, no changes.

“Negative… negative…all negative. I’m not pregnant, thank you Jesus… I’m not pregnånt…”

I exclaimed happily. It felt like a miracle. I have already zeroed my mind from fear and ready to face whatever the outcome will be.

It felt so good that I began to jump excitedly.

I was too happy that immediately Louise returned back I couldn’t keep the news.
I told him that I wasn’t prégnant.

“I knew it. you know I told you that you’re not pregnant, but because you don’t trust me enough you kept doubting. Now that you have confirmed your curiosity, I guess is all settled. Anyway, I’m equally happy that it wasn’t pregnancy because you would have still end up removing it…”

I don’t know if I should be happy with his remark or angry but none of it matters though. I was too happy to pick offence in his sarcastic comment.

Going forward, I pray such act from Louise never occurs again.

Anything that will scare me and make me worry the way I did won’t happen again.

I prayed to God to help and protect me from such hürt.

After then, Louise went back to his caring and loving self.

He will even call me at work to know how I’m feeling. If he comes back from work before me he will prepare lunch, dish out mine and kept it waiting for me.

He takes me out during the weekend, our outing is always fun and entertaining.

Along the line I get carried away a little.

There are days I will love him and kept smiling and wishing we were already a couple instead of living as lovers.

But there are other days I couldn’t wave off his stinking personality. All I think of is how much he hurt me.

Even though he has asked for my forgiveness and I let him know that I have forgiven him.

Although he tried to make up for those bad days but I can’t help but hate every thought of it. Those days Louise becomes a threat and enemy in my head.

I will begin to think he probably has a negative motive behind his recent nice behavior. He can’t possibly be acting all nice all of a sudden without any bad hidden plan.

Trusting him during such time becomes hard. I will hate his person and all there is to him.

I wish we weren’t living together, how happy and free I will be

If I had my money with me, I could have either leave the house for sometime, get a small place for myself or go stay with Ella who has a very small place that she shares with her sister.

Right now, i don’t have access to my money. Louise is in charge and he also calculate my transportation in a month and give the total monthly transport fare.

The small tips I sometimes get at work I use it to support, get food whenever I’m hungry at work and buy few things whenever needs arises.

He will always ask me how much tips I usually get at work and I will tell him.

He will tell me if the money is big, i should make sure I give it to him so that he can continue saving for me.

He was saving all my money carefully for my future.

For my school and other expenses that comes with it.

Louise said that I will squander it, spend it carelessly if the money remains in my custody.

Which was why he has taken it upon himself to be in charge of all my financial records.

At first I loved the idea and really bought into because I trusted him but after the last incident, when he forcefully had me to his satisfaction, bruising me in the process. I sustained not only physical wound but also emotional which I kept battling with. After what he did to me, I no longer trust him or feel safe with him.

But there are days I just want to be loved and pampered and whenever Louise offers, I accept without much thought to it.

He will make me relax on his shoulder whenever we’re at home watching movie.

This was the Louise I wished for, this was exactly what I want in my man. The love and care he was showering looks suspicious but I didn’t care I only wish it continues.

We shared kisses and few romantic moment but that was all to it because I was still scared of really getting intimate.

I was scared of his dark side. I wasn’t truly safe but I pretended and I was good in my acting. Making him believe I was reciprocating his affection.

After few more weeks passed, I was coming back from work one day, while at the bus stop waiting for bus, a car drove and stopped in front of me.

He called my name, when I looked into the car it was Philip.

I was very happy to see him, he asked me to come in.

I hesitated a little before joining him.

He talked about how he waited for my call, how he never stopped checking the bus station anytime he drives pass.

He asked me why I didn’t call him, I told him is because I misplaced his business card.

I remember how Louise shred the business card into tiny pieces, even if I decided to gather it up and take out the number it will be impossible.

The lie suit perfectly fine and Philip didn’t appear angry or suspecious.

He asked me if I live with my parents or maybe a relative.

I was stuttering at first because I couldn’t come up with a lie.

I can’t possibly tell that him I live with a supposed boyfriend, who I no longer trust. Philip may never want to talk to me again.

He will keep a distance and that will be the end.

“I stay with my uncle… like elder..cousin brother..”

I finally said to Philip. He smiled and asked if my uncle is too strict because he will like to visit me sometime but that will be if I’m okay with it and if my uncle approves.

He asked if my uncle is a married man or single.

I told him that he is married with two kids. “My uncle is difficult to please and does not like me keeping friends, especially opposite sex. So he may not approve of your visitation but I will get back to you, Let me confirm from him first. But as for me, I’m okay with you visiting but it won’t be right away. Let me get to know you better first…”

He gave me his number and took mine.

We were conversing so well like I have known him for years.

He dropped me close to the house and promise to call.

I walked to the house and Louise was around.

He welcomed me with a kiss that taste so awful.

He rubbed my sensitive parts like I was his hārlot

I sometimes distaste his show of affection because deep down I know he doesn’t truly care.

He has a way of mishandling my body that makes me feel dirty.

Deep down I wish there’s a way I can get my money and escape from him but he doesn’t seem he was ready to hand over the money yet.

Maybe it was all a mistake to have agreed for him to be in charge of every dime I receive

I freshened up and he told me that he prepared dinner.

Nodded quietly with a heave.
He asked if I won’t thank him for making dinner for me.
I muttered a cold “thank you” to him.